Albie and Nice Guy’s misogyny from ‘The White Lotus’

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Desire is not exactly priority White lotus Creator Mike White has a knack for it when it comes to his characters, but each one has traits that make you root for them one second and curse them the next. Albie DiGrasso (Adam DiMarco) — the show’s Certified Nice Guy™ — has some viewers falling for his charm, and others calling out the thinly veiled misogyny hidden behind his performance feminism.

After being whisked away by his family for a five-star vacation in Sicily, Albie threw in Taormina in Season 2 with his “good guys finish last” spiel, somehow maneuvering his way into the Internet’s hearts. If you’ve ever been a part of the dating scene, you’re uncomfortably familiar with the nice guy trope.

What is a proactive nice guy?

How to find a good guy? Well, they’ll tell you. A nice guy, in fact, he’s amazingly nice (as opposed to anything else), believes that showing a minimum of respect to women deserves a reward. You’d better believe they’re morally superior, often citing friendships with women with very little action. Directly mentioned in Albie’s comments Portia (Hayley Lu Richardson) In Episode 2, Nice Guys says that girls often go for “bad boys” and that’s why they’re left behind – often this kind of rhetoric is found on “incel” Reddit forums, where extreme misogyny is rampant.

Albie and Lucia are standing next to a car.

Adam DeMarco and Simona Tabasco as Albie and Lucia
Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO

Albie has shown every sign of a nice guy throughout Season 2 of the show — claiming he’s attracted to “wounded birds,” giving himself a literal title, and revealing the savior complex of his relationship with him. Lucia (Simona Tabasco), and more.

In Episode 2, when Portia asks him if he’s a “nice guy” in relationships, Albie says: “Girls always complain about not being nice, but when they see a nice guy they’re not always interested.” If you say you’re a nice guy. , it’s a universally acknowledged fact that you’re definitely not a nice guy.

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Portia takes Albie’s goodness, but she believes he is truly good, not efficient. In episode 3, Portia tells Tanya: “He’s so nice, a little too nice. I just wish he’d cut my heart out a little more or something.” These words directly feed into Albie’s belief that women are generally not interested in “good” men.

The Nice Guy trope is accompanied by a sense of entitlement to women’s time, attention and, often, sex, which is often nothing more than a successful manipulation tactic. Good guys are highly motivated by the prospect of passively pleasing the object of their desire (usually a woman) in relationship and/or sex.


It’s a universally acknowledged fact that if you say you’re a nice guy, you’re definitely not a nice guy.

There is a certain level of arrogance and lack of self-awareness in assuming that someone else is the only reason for a person’s rejection. too good The roots of this trope have had a heavy impact on today’s dating culture.

“Men who complain about being unlucky in love, despite being ‘nice guys’, may have a sinister agenda,” said journalist Rachel Hosey. writes for that Independent. “The idea is that if you meet someone’s needs without them asking, they will meet yours. So, if a man is in love with a woman, she should be his lover and reciprocate because Obviously That’s how these things work.”

Albie wants to rescue ‘beautiful, injured birds’

Albie’s savior complex would be his ultimate undoing White lotus. He tells Portia that he is attracted to “pretty, wounded birds,” which he seems to only want to be with women who need some kind of rescue. With Lucia, he gets to be the “hero” and “save her” from Alessio’s mysterious threat, not just for Lucia, but to make him feel better about himself.

Albie’s answer to finding out Lucia A sex worker is also very telling. Albie feels that Lucia has no agency as a sex worker and cannot believe that she is doing this of her own free will. He is more than willing to assume that she is being exploited by Alessio, a man she refers to as her pimp. He is convinced that she is being exploited, that she is a victim and therefore needs to be rescued. His savior complex also comes into play here. He sees Lucia as the “wounded bird” he mentioned earlier. So when Lucia uses this to her advantage and makes up a whole story about Alessio to swindle Albi out of 50,000 euros, it’s not that surprising.

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It’s a turning point in Albie’s Nice Guy routine. We don’t get to see this on the show, but it perfectly sets up the beginning of his distrust of women, which will lead him down a path he wants so badly to avoid. At the airport, when everyone is finally getting ready to go home, the three De Grassos all turn their heads and see a beautiful woman walking past them, indicating that Albie is going to change like them.

From left to right, Albie, Bert, and Dominic turn their entire bodies and walk past a beautiful woman.

Adam DeMarco, F. Murray Abraham and Michael Imperioli play three generations of De Grasso men.
Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO

Albie’s performative feminism is demonstrated throughout the series, mainly motivated by her need to distinguish herself from her father and grandfather—she tells Portia, “I refuse to have bad relations with women.” In episode 3, the de Grassos and Portia visit the house, where they film scenes for Francis Ford Coppola. The Godfather (1972), Albee argued that the film was favored by men because it sold the fantasy of a time when patriarchy was rarely challenged. Albie keeps looking at Portia as if to see if she’s impressed by his lifted-straight-off-the-Twitter-thread feminist monologue that rejects traditional male gender roles.

“Men love The Godfather Because they feel betrayed by modern society. “It’s a fantasy of a time when they go out and solve their problems with violence, sleep with every woman, and then come back and make pasta for their wives who ask no questions,” he says.

All over the Albi The Godfather The monologue is a reaction to a string of betrayals by his father and grandfather. He seems to blame both of them for the way he is now, something his father Dominic knows too.

“You know the reason I’m the way I am,” he tells Bert, “you never showed me how to love a woman…how to be close…how to put other people first. You always put yourself first. And so do I. Albie is trying so hard not to end up like the men in his family, and it seems that his good hand act leads him to exaggerate his behavior and come around like his predecessors.

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If Albie’s feminism had been less performative and less rehearsed and instead came from a more genuine place, this scene might not have raised eyebrows, but there is an element of reward-seeking in her behavior.

Performance is the sexual currency of feminism

Over the years, claiming to be a feminist and understanding the oppression faced by the oppressed genders has become sexist currency in our dating culture. Research shows that one’s stance on social issues can make or break a match. According to Tinder’s 2022 survey, 75 percent of singles are looking for matches who value or are invested in social issues.

Another study conducted Bumble 74 percent of men say they have looked inward, analyzed their own behavior more than ever, and have a clearer understanding. Toxic masculinity. Research conducted by PhD candidate Max Stick revealed Men who identify as feminists have more sex than men who don’t.

Portia and Albie sit in steamer chairs by the pool at the hotel.

Haley Lu Richardson as Portia and Adam DeMarco as Albie.
Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO

Albie’s performative feminism is again under scrutiny when Jack enters the picture. During the beach club scene in episode 4, ​​Portia talks to Jack, who is the literal embodiment of a walking, talking red flag – the “Cowabunga” tattoo, the stereotypical “bad boy” charm, the blatant disregard. Portia’s requirements. Albie is having trouble understanding why a girl he’s been dating for two days suddenly doesn’t want to date him. He thinks he has some kind of right to her – I saw her first, so she’s mine. He is threatened by Jack because it confirms his belief that girls go for “bad boys” and not “good boys”.

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The politics of sexuality have replaced white privilege in Season 2 White lotus. Where the first season was set against the backdrop of disputes in the colonial land where the hotel (its name is no accident) is located, this second season sees people using their sexuality to wage war on everyone around them. In this season, sexuality is a weapon, a means of controlling and asserting power, and its by-product (especially an extramarital affair) hurts and hurts the person being cheated on.

There is feminism and there is performing feminism. The latter exists because it has social, romantic and sexual currency attached to it. Because the conversation around it has been democratized, it’s much easier to pretend to be one. Instead of making a real commitment to feminism, with concrete actions to back it up, Nice Guys like Albie use it as a manipulation tactic to get women into bed, and therein lies the problem.

The good guys got the girl. Good Friends™ don’t.


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